Living away from your partner can be a challenge. You will experience dozens of long-distance thoughts each and every day. Commons ones include: Can the distance work? Or how do I get through the days until I next see my partner?
Sometimes a new perspective is all we need to make a difference. We wish you well along your journey.
Thought 1: Can my long distance relationship work?
Yes! It can. It absolutely can. Will it, though? That’s up to the two of you. Whether a long distance relationship works or not doesn’t actually have that much to do with the “long distance” part. It’s more a matter of whether the relationship would have worked in the first place.
The fact that the two of you are considering committing to a relationship that is a lot more difficult than normal is already a good sign that the resources are there to make it work.
You may enjoy our other popular page > 41 Actionable Long Distance Relationship Tips
Thought 2: How long can it last before my partner gets tired?
It may be painful to hear this, but if someone is giving signs of wanting to back out of a relationship, it’s not because of the distance. As for how long a long distance relationship can last, well… indefinitely. Years, for sure.
Think of it this way: If I told you right now that you could be with the person of your dreams, whom you were meant to be with, who will love you forever, but before that can happen you need to wait for them for 10 years and only speak to them through letters, what would you do? If you’re certain of the outcome, you’ll be willing to do whatever it takes for however long it takes.
Thought 3: Can I trust my long distance partner?
Trust is a pretty big discussion. So big, in fact, that we have a couple of articles on that topic alone! See here:
The bottom line? You’ll just have to make that effort. If you’re worrying and panicking every time they miss a phone call, here’s the hard truth: you’re better out than in. You can’t let the people you love turn you into a paranoid mess, otherwise pretty soon they won’t be the people you love any more.
What if my long distance partner changes his mind/cheats on me/stops answering the phone?
It’s good to have a plan for when bad things happen, but it’s not healthy to dwell on it too much. You’re going to be alright no matter what, and you’re going to learn a ton from the experience and be a better person for it.
The main thing to remember is that you need to do all that you can to keep your relationship happy and healthy right now. If it still doesn’t work, at least you’ll know that it wasn’t because you didn’t try.
Thought 4: Will my long-distance boyfriend make a commitment?
This is probably the long distance equivalent of “how do I get him to propose?”. People, often frustrated by being far away from their loved one, start to get lonely and to itch for a drastic change.
While we understand that it sucks, and that you wish you could be together NOW, we also urge you not to do the long distance equivalent of leaving engagement ring catalogs out on the nightstand.
Don’t leave subtle hints and don’t start pressuring your partner into something they don’t want for themselves. Don’t be manipulative. If you ever think “I bet this way I can get him to…”, stop right there. Your goal is not to “get him to” do anything. Your goal is to have an open and honest conversation about what you want for your future and what you can do to achieve those dreams.
Thought 5: Are we going to be happy living together after we close the distance?
The good news is that even short distance couples don’t really know for sure until they do it.
You have the advantage of a very good preview of what it might be like every time you visit each other. Make the most of it and try to understand how you fit into each other’s habits, what needs to change and what can reasonably stay the same.
Part of the beauty of bringing that kind of change into your life is that you can’t predict the chaos that will ensue. It’s called adventure. Enjoy it.
Thought 6: What if I move to another country to be with my boyfriend but can’t adapt?
You’ll move back. I know it sounds harsh, but that was the reality that we all faced when we made that jump. It’s probably a good idea not to burn all of your bridges behind you.
That being said, you’ll adapt. Moving to a new country is pretty fantastic, and even if things don’t work out between the two of you, chances are you’ll have made a new life there.
Also, doing it once makes you so much more prepared for the possibility of having to do it again!
You may also enjoy our other useful page > Moving in together checklist: Questions to consider before you relocate
Thought 7: Should I accept the distance?
Hell yeah. The world is a really big place. Do you think that your soul mate is going to just happen to be within 20 km of where you live? Not likely. He may not even have a common language with you.
Yeah, it’s going to be hard work and mostly an uphill struggle. Most great relationships are. But in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a sea of us out there telling our success stories to the world. We got that amazing partner, that good life, and we also got to meet a new culture and learn a new language and change everything about our lives.
Long distance thoughts: Conclusion
Change is scary, but it’s good. There’s no reason to be afraid of a long distance relationship, we all experience these thoughts and questions.
If you’re one of those people that has a lot of love and never finds anyone to give it to, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t consider sending it further away!
Words by: Alexandra Pana
Featured photo: Benn White